"What's that coming out of his stomach??!!"

Oh family! I can't tell you how good it was to read all your comments! I know you all don't have time to read my blog all the time and I don't expect you to, but when you do, if you have a minute, I would love to hear a quick comment from you--I can't tell you how much it means to me.
Well, life continues on in Jerusalem. Although, it's a little more mixed up here with the whole "Saturday is the Sabbath" thing...it makes the week seem much, much, longer. But, we like that. We feel like we have more time to do stuff, even though we don't. Then we get behind. We don't like that.
Anyway, today was really fun. You know, I think my spaztic side hides when I'm just getting to know people and slowly emerges as I get more comfortable with them. It's not like I do it on purpose, I just think I'm trying less and less to be as careful so as not to get the name of freak or weirdo or something else that describes, well, me. Today I had the good grace to walk into a parking meter, walk head-first into a glass door, and get whacked in the crotch by the fist of a young boy who was singing a song in Arabic (probably a very dirty one) as he walked by each of us girls and hit us. (However, I was the only one who got a pop to the crotch.) It's lucky he kept walking by so fast and that they tell us to avoid confrontation or I would have given him a pop in the "unmentionables" that he never would have forgotten.
So, this morning we had no class and so everyone was planning on going on various adventures. I decided to go with the group I've spent the past two days with and really enjoyed seeing the sites with. I think our plans changed 4, 053 times in two minutes, but finally we agreed on renting a sharoot (a kind of shuttle/van) and going to the Biblical Zoo. Why it's called a "Biblical" Zoo I really have no idea because I didn't see one camel or ass. However, I did see plenty of other animals that are mentioned frequently in the Bible (i.e. turtles, flamingos, leopards, giraffes, and ostriches. Good old Daniel in the ostrich den.) It was really fun though, and we had a lot of fun. However, it was here that I had an experience that has once again made me famous in this very small-and-quick-to-spread-a-good-story center, which leads me to the title of this blog.
Alright, so I had been wanting to see the elephants all day because I relate to them and so have a very fond spot in my heart for those large and baggy creatures. We all stopped at the fence and were watching them and I went down the way a little bit to get a picture for another girl in the group of her in front of the elephants. After taking her picture, I stayed further away, but not too far to hear the other members of the group laughing a little bit or too far to talk to them. It was about then that I saw the most adorable little baby elephant you ever did see. He was so cute! And you know I love mini stuff, and this was an elephant, but it was mini! Anyway, so I called out to the group, "Hey! Look at this adorable baby elephant!" They kind of snickered and called back, "Yeah, a really cute little BOY elephant." While they were saying this, I was watching it walk along and I suddenly saw this long black thing, probably 3 feet long hanging down near the lower end of his belly and before I had even processed what they said or thought about it even in the slightest I called out, "What's that thing coming out of his stomach??!!" Bad news for Heather. I think you can all guess what the long black thing was. I swear they didn't stop laughing for 20 minutes. I thought someone was going to pass out from not getting enough oxygen and I would have to do CPR. Even when they did finally stop rolling around on the grass, they teased me mercilessly for the rest of the day. At one point I said something like, "Oh goodness. You guys are never going to let me live this one down, are you?" I had no idea.
So we continue our day and walk from the far far end of West Jerusalem back to the Center...it was probably 10 miles. It was a 25 minute car ride on the way there, and we WALKED back. Crazy. But it was fun. We stopped at Ben Yehuda's street again and everyone else ate at BURGER KING!!!! while I and my roommate had an authentic and delicious shwarma. (Shwarma two days in a row? Now that's what I call living.) Anyway, we walk back to the center and part ways and I go off to my room to do some homework and sleep a little before dinner.
When I finally emerge from my room for dinner, everyone I pass looks at me with a hint of a smirk on their face. I get through dinner and then choir practice. (Which is AWESOME by-the-way...we're singing Evening Prayer from Hansel and Gretel and it's breathtakingly GORGEOUS!) Anyway, I decide to go to this volleyball night to support my roommate who was in charge of it and there's this guy there. Now this guy, Chris, is really very cute and I've been trying to figure out every possible way to get him to propose next week. Just kidding. But seriously. Anyway, I already act like an IDIOT everytime I see him (like, get this...I was on a level above him once and he was walking below me but I could see him through the glass bannister and so I called out to him and struck up a conversation with him. Everything was going fine, but there was about a 6-inch gap between the bannister and the floor and, like and idiot I said, "Hey look what I can do!" and proceeded to stick my head through the gap between the bannister and the floor. Which was then followed by me getting my head stuck and not being able to get it out. Yes. So I don't even know what this kid must already think of me. Anyway, sorry for the digression.) So he is just about the last person I would ever want to know about my most embarrassing moments in life, which really is my life as a whole, so what I guess I mean is that I don't want anyone to talk to him about me...ever. But fate would have it otherwise.
So I walk into the gym and take a spot on the court front left and who should be right across the net form me but Chris. Now he comes over and grabs the net and starts talking to me. Good sign, eh? I was basically wetting my pants a little at this point, but I walk over and start talking to him. So this is kinda how the middle of the conversation went.
Chris: "So what did you end up doing today?"
Heather: "Oh we went to the Biblical Zoo!"
Chris: "Oh was that cool?"
Heather: "Yeah."
Chris: "Did you see any elephants?"
Heather: "...." (dumb silence, immediately followed by horrifying realization.)
I think he must have seen the whole realization that he knew about the "Elephant's schmeckel" scene flash before my eyes because he started laughing so hard as soon as I hesitated. That's the second time I was with him that I wished I could be buried under a mountain instead of being within 100 miles of him. Strike two.
So the whole center knows about my pathetic little incident today and they're all getting their jollies from it. Hooray for Heather, once again. But hey, I guess it keeps life interesting.
Anyway, it was a good fun day, although I did get sunburnt from stupidly forgetting to apply any kind of sun repellent and so gained another nickname of "sausage face." Choice. I don't know how I'm lucky enough to have all these wonderful things happen to me on such a regular basis.
Any advice on what to do now about Chris?
Conclusion: Even if I am in the most amazing of all places and I am changing all the time, I am still 100%, irrevocably and irreversibly Heather.